I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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