Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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