sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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