Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
