How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
