sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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