Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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