The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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