Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
