Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
