it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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