This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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