Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
