girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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