When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
