I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
