a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
