How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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