Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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