i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
