There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
