I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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