facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
