He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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