When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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