thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
