Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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