have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
