Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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