we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
