all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
