I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
