i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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