Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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