how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
