after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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