You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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