Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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