id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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