we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
