My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
what day is it and did you see me today?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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