my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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