Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
