We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
