margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you still have your period?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
