Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
