Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
