Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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