i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You ruined the universe
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
