my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
