Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
