I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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