i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
