You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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