i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's shark week go big or go home
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
