Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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