and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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