So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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