nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
