I love black thongs
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
