Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
