he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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